3/21/2017 I need to skip a page ... by Angel Lois LBD

I need to skip a page. 

Right now I'd like to skip a few months -

I'm not really dumb,
just always thinking that everyone
will be pleased when something nice comes about
but maybe it is dumb -

Meanness is hard to hear -
It leaves scars and so
I retreat a bit further
into that protective shell.

It will work out over the long haul -
This is  a new challenge -

So  a new conflict -
If I had stopped or stepped aside when others thought
"it couldn't be done"
or "shouldn't be done"
not much would have happened in programming.

I know my strengths.

Ha! I know what you want -
You hope I'll make a fool of myself -

Wouldn't it be lovely to see?

Your meanness of soul
Your envy
Your hatred of success of others

Are you less
because of some one else?

* Note: Mama went through "H" to move forward with many of her plans and dreams. Her constancy of will and dedication to carrying out her life-long pledge of "doing good" required stubborn grit and greatness. This was and still is Mama, Lois Brown Dale (now Angel Lois).

Mama's Moon Flower

 

3/16/2017 Mama's Mama by Angel Lois LBD

Mama's Mama

What does one know about one's parents?

I really didn't know them at all as whole people.
Maybe we never know anyone as a whole person.
Just bits and pieces
part of an unfinished mosaic
My mother was tall
and very slender.
I saw a picture of her nursing my brother,
one large breast half exposed with his head against her.
She had very fair and delicate skin.
She used a soap called Cuticura a lot -
Lilac or lily of the Valley scent.
She wore lavender teddies trimmed in ecru lace,
black dresses and strapped shoes.
Men liked her, she laughed a lot.
She baked wonderful bread and pies
flipped pancakes in the air,
once one stuck to the ceiling!
She played the piano
anything from jazz to Mozart.
She would throw her head back when a passage really pleased her,
or when she had improvised something.
I remember her hands rolling out dough with a little flour on them,
running scales or drifting over the piano keys.
Her handwriting was beautiful.
I only have my name written in my Bible,
that's all.
One Christmas during the Depression (1932)
she gave me a lovely handkerchief, my Bible and a blue crystal necklace.
I still love nice handkerchiefs and blue crystal necklaces.
She never wore jewelry
except for her diamond and her wedding ring,
once in awhile her pearls, real ones
because grown-up ladies never wore cheap jewelry.
My Aunt wore rhinestones and rouge and mascara
so did my cousin.
My mother was married in a white wool suit,
a white fur hat and white shoes buttoned with little blue buttons.
She had a white fur muff.
She had seven children in nineteen years.
She only lived to be 40 and 4 months and 14 days.
Her birthday was December 24th.

3/14/2017 White Haired Ladies and more by LBD

White-Haired Ladies

They all look alike -
Skin so translucent
Pale thin bloodless lips -
Teeth so false and
Eyes faintly grey -
Why do they all
Look alike?
Bulging tummies and
Boobs so big and
Sagging
Moving carefully
Afraid of a stumble or fall
Remember Mabel?
She broke a hip
Just stepping on a pebble
Why do they all
Look alike?
Wild patterns and
Harsh colors -
Hoping to feel young
and alive -
Why do they all
Look alike?
The giggles and laughter
High pitched or throaty
The gestures of floating
Hands
Why do they all
Look alike?
The reminiscing, the stories
So often told
Who care to hear them?
The hopeful smile
At the disinterested sales clerk
My husband once asked
Whey do they all
Look alike?


It's Hard to be "Up" All the Time

Yet somehow, I'm never
really down -
Pollyanna - tomorrow
"It" will all work out.
James is always near
I feel his careful loving, I believe
Yes, I believe that I am watched over.
There is a God in Heaven
I believe, Yes, I believe
there is a purpose to my life -
Most of the time I couldn't tell you why
but I believe -
Not unlike Job, I've lost so much dear to me,
But I cannot sit in ashes
Bewailing my lot.

3/14/2017 More writings by LBD

*Note: Found a stapled stack of pages from a notebook of Mama's. She wrote poetry, too.

Not Me

Not one of those wistfully smiling -
Trying to look bright eyed and alive
Little old people
Living must have meaning
Meaning is being of service or help to
a fellow being -
No browned and drying leaf clinging to the tree of life
as if I were green and growing
Not me!

You Think You Know Me

You think you know me!!!
That's life's poorest joke,
You only know me as you know yourself -
You subscribe your motives, your weaknesses and meanness to me,
unable to realize that those are your motives, your weakness, your meanness
I am not you
You are not me
You don't know me
You judge me from all your own petty inadequacies
Knock it off
Grow up!!

I Look in the Mirror

I look in the mirror
Who is that?
No one I ever knew
I smile -
No, I still don't recognize
What happened in seventy years?
Legs are still straight
Feet still slender and strong -
Bottom too fat, but it always was!
Sagging protruding abdomen, mostly laziness
Sagging boobs. I never liked having any -
(Which is worse, those dangling from a chest or between one's legs)
Head bent forward
No chin - and then
thin white hair
What a mess

Introspection
Is it really good for anybody?

Federal Revenue Sharing - Speech by Lois Brown Dale - July 13th ? What year?

Lois Brown Dale - Speaking

We are here today to talk over the need for dollars to undergird programs for Older Persons in Clermont County.

First it must be mentioned that there has been great hue and cry about Social Security, the cost, the possible bankruptcy of the system, the burden for the younger generation and on and on it goes -

No one bothers to remember that in the ealy 70's the Federal Goverenment tied three welfare programs into the Social Security System - Aid for Aged, Aid for Blind and Aid for Disabled. The Social Security System was in great financial shape up to that point. Now with the draining of S.S.I. and Medicare on the system - everyone is very concerned about how it all is to be paid for.

80% of Medicaid dollars, it is said, are now going to Nursing Home care - one of the fastest growing service businesses in the Country. We need to remember that most people paid into the Social Security System believing it was an insurance program - it is still called F.I.C.A. but it has been reduced in status and is talked about on all levels as a Welfare program and it is incorportated into the Federal Welfare budget. This is demeaning to persons who paid in good faith into an insurance program.

We spend millions for operating and for building schools in the Country. Senior Citizens pay those taxes along with the rest of the poplace. We spend millions and millions building sewer systems, water systems and roads in this Country - some local money - the rest of it Federal.

All this is being said to put into perspective our request for undergirding the service programs necessary to keep older persons out of Nursing Homes and to give some quality to life and "add life to years".


We come not as beggars extending our hands for alms but as tax paying citizens who feel that  larger share of Federal tax dollars should be returned to the County and its older citizens.

This agency has a demonstratable record of using $120,000 local dollars $70,000 of it United Appeal - the balance from our County Commissioners ($50,000) to bring services to older persons that amounts to nearly a half million dollars.

All of us are most grateful for the way the County Commissioners have demonstrated their concern for the older citizens in Clermont County. They've provided manpower through C.E.T.A. They underwrote the costs of maintaining our first bus with Revenue Sharing funds. They have provided 80% of the local share for the Homemaker program.

The demand for services is increasing. We have had calls from Washington, Chicago and Columbus as well as other service organizations demanding we do more and more. Yet we know nothing happens without money.

This request is a most reasonable one. It will return nearly a million dollars in service. It will keep persons out of Nursing Homes whose cost runs now from $600 to $1200 a month. It will provide Family Home Care for at least fifty individuals. It will provide a Health and Hearing Screening program that will promote good health care. It will provide transportation service foe medical visits to social services agencies and for activities that keep the mind and spirit youn. It will feed the body and soul.

We know the value of all these servces to the persons receiving them. We know you do, too, from all your past help.

But the years fly fast and what we need to do, we need to do today.

We promise to return a minimum of $70 Federal dollars for every $30 you allocate to services for Older persons.

The intent of Federal Revenue Sharing (and the law is explicit) is to help persons obtain services by using those dollars to obtain more.

We ask you to look with favor on this request for money for services for our genergation.

 

*Note: Wondering to whom Mama delivered this speech. She may have been speaking to the Ohio Council on Aging or testifying in Washington, D.C.

 

Letter from Mama Nov. 3, 1999

Karen -

After our phone conversation I've tried to figure out some reasonable plan or when I would be incapacitated and unable to make sensible decisions.

The difference in the Health Care systems of U.S.A. & England have to be taken into consideration.

Here, when an individual is treated for stroke or other dehabilitating illness - a System kicks in - Some Hospitalization - Doctor - Insurance and probably a Social Worker re: Pat Scherer - make recommendations based on who is going to be financially responsible for the expenses of the individual and what Medicare will cover. What Aetna Insurance will cover and what they won't. This is crucial!!

Neither pay for Health Assisted Living.

Should I need that kind of care - the house will have to be sold, but until it is sold the Home Equity payments must be made.

Presently my S.S. check & small pension check are directly deposited and the payment of Home Equity is taken out. Thse Checks will stop immediately on my death.

If I need to be placed either in Health Assisted or Nursing Home Care, usually the Hospital Social Worker finds the place that has accommodations and makes the arrangements, for the family - the financial responsibility takes into consideration of my assents - and how long they will last. When all assts are exhausted then Medicaid kicks in, IF such a facility is available.

Some H.S. and N.H. allow an individual to bring items from home - a chair - T.V. but not much.

Jane Sargeant in H.A. was able to furnish her apartment with her own items at New England Club, but the new management is closing much of H.A. - too expensive. Jane paid $2000 a month.

So for me to specify where to put me in the Cincy (area) it is not possible.

Yes, I am fond of myh bedroom stuff - also the new little living room couch. My family pictures are important to me as your paintings and Allan's - Joyce's handiwork - Very difficult to select at this stage.

However, I like nighties with satin on the outside and flannel? on the inside - cozy, light white robes - bed socks if needed - shawls (I have several) - lots of light.

This probably isn't a lot of help. My Power of Attorney for Health Matters leaves decisions to Marshall and Austin and You.

Marshall did not want the total responsibility for decision making so I changed things a year ago.

Well, I hope this gives you some directions. I'll send Marshall and Austin a copy.

Love from
Mama

*Note - Mama (now Angel Lois) wrote this on legal sized paper - which she had made copies. It's interesting how her wishes were met by coming here with me to live in "The Cottage" 2006-2009.

I need help! 10/6/2014

Putting things in order around here - always doing this - putting things in order!

Today it's reviewing some old VHS tapes/cassettes looking for some pictures of Angel Lois and myself. I have not been skilled at using the video camera - in the past - nor am I now - but still desiring to learn more about it - eventually.

Right now - there's a tape playing -  from the trip to Epcot where Mama and I had "escaped" from the "real world" for a few days. We were two kids together - having a great time.

I'll be labeling the tapes and putting them in some order - maybe eventually transcribing them to a DVD. Yes! As Mama used to say, "That's the ticket!"

I'll pick up on this thread - time to get back to it!